1. Never have I seen man, woman, or child eating a Chunky bar.

  2. If you’re asking if I’m interested in buying the ESPN NBA Countdown program on eBay, then the answer is “yes.” If you’re trying to get me involved in some backdoor slavery deal whereupon I purchase these two people via an online auction website, then I say, “no, sir.”

    If you’re asking if I’m interested in buying the ESPN NBA Countdown program on eBay, then the answer is “yes.” If you’re trying to get me involved in some backdoor slavery deal whereupon I purchase these two people via an online auction website, then I say, “no, sir.”

  3. Only three days to save 12%? That’s not enough time for me to schedule vacation plans so I can take advantage of this trench-deep discount.

    Only three days to save 12%? That’s not enough time for me to schedule vacation plans so I can take advantage of this trench-deep discount.

  4. gam blur

    gam blur

  5. DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince were right: parents just don’t understand….unless the situation you’re facing is an unplanned pregnancy, in which case your parents most likely understand completely.

  6. Did you know that the 2011 film version of The Green Hornet was an elaborate and covert intervention by the friends of Seth Rogen to prevent him from eating his way to a John Candy-like demise so he could instead live long enough to die of an overdose?

  7. Headline whiplash on Pitchfork.

    Headline whiplash on Pitchfork.

  8. If I’m the producer of The View, I’m making a power play right now for Katherine Helmond.

  9. Why don’t they make cedar-chest-scented laundry detergent?

  10. Ironically, Seymour Reit is among the most rancorous of specters ever to have been encountered by the living.