1. Just launched a Kickstarter for the first album by my new band, Michael Sierra Leone Russell.

  2. Carrie Underwood is married to a guy named Mike Fisher? Carrie Underwood’s married name is Carrie Fisher?

    Carrie Underwood is married to a guy named Mike Fisher? Carrie Underwood’s married name is Carrie Fisher?

  3. I’ve been using Activia before I go to bed every night for a week, but I haven’t noticed any change whatsoever in my digestive health.

    I’ve been using Activia before I go to bed every night for a week, but I haven’t noticed any change whatsoever in my digestive health.

  4. According to CNN, which apparently has the time on its hands to spend reporting on these things, John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan have ended their relationship.
My favorite part was this anonymous quote from one of Johnnie Cougar’s friends: “I don’t think he loved all the attention he got just from dating an actress. I bet he’ll stay away from dating another famous person for a while.” John Mellencamp is 62 years old. If he waits “a while,” the next famous person he’ll be dating is Death.

    According to CNN, which apparently has the time on its hands to spend reporting on these things, John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan have ended their relationship.

    My favorite part was this anonymous quote from one of Johnnie Cougar’s friends: “I don’t think he loved all the attention he got just from dating an actress. I bet he’ll stay away from dating another famous person for a while.” John Mellencamp is 62 years old. If he waits “a while,” the next famous person he’ll be dating is Death.

  5. Seems unfair that I’ve been rapping under the name Jiggy Azalea for a decade, and now people will think I’m the Johnny-come-lately.

  6. Thank goodness. I’ve watched the news, seen the photos, read the tweets; and through it all, I’ve thought, “What this situation needs is Billy Bragg.”

    Thank goodness. I’ve watched the news, seen the photos, read the tweets; and through it all, I’ve thought, “What this situation needs is Billy Bragg.”

  7. Man cannon, indeed.

    Man cannon, indeed.

  8. I thought Danity Kane was a wrestler and that he was sad that two lady wrestlers, perhaps part of a wrestler harem, got in a fight. Turns out Danity Kane is was a singing group.

    I thought Danity Kane was a wrestler and that he was sad that two lady wrestlers, perhaps part of a wrestler harem, got in a fight. Turns out Danity Kane is was a singing group.

  9. Real telephone conversations with Bob Newhart must be pretty disappointing.

  10. a portrait of the artist as a Youngman