1. Brevity is the Sol LeWitt.

  2. January

    June

  3. ….and killed five people.

    ….and killed five people.

  4. I just reverse-mortgaged my apartment to Henry Winkler. I think I’m in trouble.

  5. There is no act more creatively bankrupt than recording a cover of James Taylor’s “Mexico.”

  6. Just bought a used Segway.

  7. Just launched a Kickstarter for the first album by my new band, Michael Sierra Leone Russell.

  8. Carrie Underwood is married to a guy named Mike Fisher? Carrie Underwood’s married name is Carrie Fisher?

    Carrie Underwood is married to a guy named Mike Fisher? Carrie Underwood’s married name is Carrie Fisher?

  9. I’ve been using Activia before I go to bed every night for a week, but I haven’t noticed any change whatsoever in my digestive health.

    I’ve been using Activia before I go to bed every night for a week, but I haven’t noticed any change whatsoever in my digestive health.

  10. According to CNN, which apparently has the time on its hands to spend reporting on these things, John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan have ended their relationship.
My favorite part was this anonymous quote from one of Johnnie Cougar’s friends: “I don’t think he loved all the attention he got just from dating an actress. I bet he’ll stay away from dating another famous person for a while.” John Mellencamp is 62 years old. If he waits “a while,” the next famous person he’ll be dating is Death.

    According to CNN, which apparently has the time on its hands to spend reporting on these things, John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan have ended their relationship.

    My favorite part was this anonymous quote from one of Johnnie Cougar’s friends: “I don’t think he loved all the attention he got just from dating an actress. I bet he’ll stay away from dating another famous person for a while.” John Mellencamp is 62 years old. If he waits “a while,” the next famous person he’ll be dating is Death.